Childhood dreams +bonus!

When I was in elementary school, it was rather fashionable to declare which line of employment is going to appeal to you. At the age of 10 years, I couldn’t imagine any job being more desirable than the President of the United States, an astronaut or a fireman. All three of these are professions that we have been taught to believe are high profile and much sought after.

Time, reality and experience have eroded my interest in the Presidency and astronautics. Unless, of course we could combine the two, firing our current President into orbit permanently. That would be interesting and humorous. Unfortunately, that would simply allow our Vice President to become the President while simultaneously filling another astronaut job, neither of which assist me in accomplishing my childhood goals.

I briefly pursued employment with the firefighters. Several obstacles prevented me from serving with them. Tacoma proper does not accept applications for volunteer firefighters and I live too far away from outlying coverage areas to serve as an “on call.” That and the fact that I absolutely refuse to shave my goatee as an employment prerequisite.

So, we’re 0 for 3 here in present day. I’ve been in the Army. You can bet that THEY made me shave that goatee. Of course, this was before I’d grown fond of it. Perhaps my attachment to facial hair derived from that circumstance. If you get told throughout your childhood “You cannot have caramel apples,” what’s the first food you’re going to eat when you are out from under your parents’ thumb? I’ll bet you a caramel apple that it’s a…um…caramel apple.

I was a security officer for a brief period of time. For some deranged reason, I thought this might be the civilian equivalent of a soldier - what with the uniforms, time schedules and possible sidearm (I never got to carry one). Let me tell you, folks, that even though I met a lot of ex-military security officers at the buildings I guarded, comparing Army life to private security is like saying to your wife “I cooked a full turkey supper for you” and handing her a thawed-out TV dinner. Not only are they dissimilar but also you end up paying alimony from your basement apartment and riding the city bus.

So my childhood dreams have been dispelled. I’m currently hoping the post office will call me soon so I can deliver mail to peoples’ houses. I think I’d like that. Leave a comment and tell me: What did you want to be as a kid? And is it anything like what you are today?



Side note: Once again my wife feeds me something blog-worthy. I’m not sure whether this is an honest “Jesus sighting” or if it’s poking fun at them, but it sure made me laugh.