Flipping randomly through my desktop companion, Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary (Tenth Edition), I came upon the word hypersthene.
Hy-per-sthene \`hi-pers-theen\ n: an orthorhombic grayish or greenish black or dark brown pyroxene.
Now, I consider myself to be somewhat possessed of a varied vocabulary, but I really don’t consider it to be fair to use a definition for a word that requires you to look up more words to understand it, medical entries notwithstanding. It’s akin to explaining a multiplication equation with a quadratic formula, eating meatballs through a straw, or when some elderly woman gives you 35 pennies on Halloween so you can go buy your own candy with it.
Even if I knew the definitions for orthorhombic and pyroxene, I really cannot imagine trying to lay down such a clumsy word in any normal conversation. At this point, though, I’m willing to try. Utilizing my super-power of understanding context, I am going to conclude that hypersthene is a color; one that is either orthorhombic in nature or is simply a pyroxene from the get-go.
He: “Oh, hey ‘Card, what’s up?”
Me: “Not a whole lot, man. Whoa! Who the hell beat YOU up?”
He: “Aww, I just got into a scrap with some jerk at the bar last night. You should see HIM, though. My eye really isn’t all that bad.”
Me: “Well, your sclera is rather bloodshot and the flesh surrounding it is a magnificent shade of hypersthene.”
He: “Jesus, I’m still hung over and you’re obviously still drunk. I’m going home.”
Okay, my wife just told me that it’s a rock. Not only does that completely disperse any confidence in my super-power, but my spell-checker keeps telling me that it isn’t a word at all, even though orthorhombic and pyroxene are recognized. I'm going home.
