Rocket shoes?

Some of you may have seen this posted on my wife's blog when I replaced her for a day. I wanted to include it here, so here it is:

I have contemplated on the quadrality of leather sandals that cover a portion of the toes. While I'm not completely certain that quadrailty is supported by Webster's, I figured that "du-duality" sounds entirely like something that is not discussed in genteel company. In any case, what I want to say is that there are four sides to this discussion.

The primary observation is a positive one: leather sandals that cover a portion of the toes actually cover a portion of my toes. This, in my opinion, tends to be a deciding factor when I am choosing which sandals to purchase. Those leather sandals that do not cover a portion of the toes are usually left on the shelf in favor of a pair of sandals that do. Multiple factors attribute to this, in that I habitually find myself neglecting to make my toenails socially acceptable and the fact that I just don't like the way my toes look anyways.

To balance this positive note, I'll present a detracting characteristic. Leather sandals are made of leather. Most of you will not be surprised by this fact, unless you happen to be one of those people that, for some reason, are under the impression that tin cans are made out of aluminum these days. They aren't. Tin cans are still made of tin. Aluminum cans are constructed from aluminum. Leather sandals are much the same way, except that they are made of leather. The reason this is counted among those items that are held in a negative light lies in the fact that leather sandals are often worn without a buffeting layer (socks). This tends, over time, to make one's feet take on a peculiar odor. In the highly descriptive and mostly accurate wording used by my 3 year old daughter, "Poppy, your feet are stinky." As you can see, that can be a problem. While I realize that leather sandals are generally constructed so that there is a greater amount of air circulation available than what you'll find in your run-of-the-mill, whole-foot-encompasing tennis/track/sport/trendy shoe/boot/galoshes/whatever, the very fact that I prefer leather sandals that cover a portion of the toes presents an opportunity for said odor to accumulate, which renders my daughter unable to express herself other than honestly...shorty before she then slumps to the ground, senses reeling.

Well, I can see that I have already covered the third portion of my reflections; that of the fact that sandals provide ventilation in greater abundance that most other varieties of footwear barring flip-flops, which are just silly sandals anyways, and tube-tops, which aren't even footwear except perhaps in remote villages of tropical locations. Nevertheless, additional ventilation to my feet is always a bonus, neglecting the fact that when fresh air finds its way in, it very often then becomes nauseated by the relationship between my foot and the leather of my sandal.

Lastly (unless I choose to violate my self-imposed quadrality) is a balancing negative characteristic related to the property of sandals to provide ventilation. Unfortunately, this same property provides a perfect opportunity for foreign objects to make their way into my footwear and irritate the bejesus out of me. I cannot properly both wear leather sandals (even those that cover a portion of the toes) AND participate in any activity that is located in any of the areas that have the following types of ground: gravel, sand, woodchips, leaves, sticks, freshly-turned earth, low-lying thorns, biting insects, mud or industrial pollution. There are other examples, of course, but most of them are places that I am less likely to visit than any area that would require footgear that protects me from the aforementioned "industrial pollution" and the others have all slipped my mind.

Overall, I prefer my leather sandals over almost any other type of footwear currently available on the open market. They're light, easy to don and undon, and relatively inexpensive. If, in my future, rocket shoes become readily available (and reasonably priced), I may stow my sandals permanently. Until then, my money's on what I've already got.